The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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