Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
