I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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