He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
