I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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