Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
