I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
