2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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