is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize