SEEEEXXX PLEASE
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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