lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
