My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize