I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize