Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
