New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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