i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
