I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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