just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
