This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
