I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
