Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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