She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
