foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
