You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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