you're like a bully in the Christmas story
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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