How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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