I am puke
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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