If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize