I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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