is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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