im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
