I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
