I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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