I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize