Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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