I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
