Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
