yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
