Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
