I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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