if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
