also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
