Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
