can u get pink eye on your cock?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I want a musical about memes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
