The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
