the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
