You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
