Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
