oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
