So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
