Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
