Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
