Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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