i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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