Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
