What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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