I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
