Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
