Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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