I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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