Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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